When people think of autism, empathy isn’t always the first thing that comes to mind. Stereotypes often paint a picture of those on the spectrum as emotionally distant or unable to connect. But for me, autism has always been a gateway to profound empathy—an ability to perceive the emotions, needs, and energy of others in ways that often go unnoticed by neurotypical individuals. This deep sensitivity, combined with my unique way of processing the world, has become a cornerstone of my work as a doula, lactation consultant, and healer.

The Truth About Autism and Empathy

One of the greatest misconceptions about autism is the idea that we lack empathy. In reality, many of us experience empathy on an amplified level. We often feel deeply for others, though we may struggle to express it in traditional or expected ways. For me, this heightened emotional sensitivity manifests as an ability to tune into the subtle, unspoken needs of those around me. It’s not just about noticing what’s said—it’s about picking up on energy shifts, body language, and the emotional undercurrents that many overlook.

How Autism Shapes My Empathy

Autism gives me a unique lens through which I view and interact with the world. This perspective allows me to connect with my clients in ways that are both intuitive and transformative. Here’s how:

1. Hyper-Awareness of Details

One of the hallmarks of autism is a heightened attention to detail. This extends beyond the physical and into the emotional realm. I notice the micro-expressions, tone changes, and shifts in body language that others might miss. This hyper-awareness allows me to identify when someone is feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or in need of extra support, even if they don’t voice it aloud.

For example, during a postpartum visit, I might sense that a parent’s smile doesn’t quite reach their eyes or that their hands fidget slightly when discussing their feeding journey. These subtle cues guide me to ask gentle questions or offer reassurance, creating a safe space for them to open up.

2. Deep Emotional Intuition

While I may not always understand social norms or expected behaviors, I have an uncanny ability to sense the emotional energy in a room. It’s as though I’m attuned to the emotional “rhythm” of those around me. This helps me meet people where they are emotionally, offering support that feels authentic and aligned with their needs.

In my work as a doula, this intuition is invaluable. Whether supporting a birthing parent through labor or guiding someone during their postpartum recovery, I can feel when they need encouragement, quiet reassurance, or simply someone to sit with them in their emotions without trying to fix anything.

3. A Nonjudgmental Presence

Autism often brings with it a different way of viewing the world—one that’s less tied to societal expectations or assumptions. This perspective allows me to hold space for my clients without judgment. I’m not focused on how they "should" feel or act; instead, I honor their unique journey and emotions as they are.

This nonjudgmental approach is particularly important in postpartum care, where parents often feel pressure to meet societal standards of "perfection." By providing a space free of judgment, I help parents feel safe to express their fears, frustrations, and triumphs authentically.

4. Creative Problem-Solving

Autistic thinking often thrives in creativity and outside-the-box problem-solving. When faced with challenges in my work—whether it’s helping a parent navigate breastfeeding difficulties or finding ways to soothe a restless baby—I draw on this creativity to find solutions that are tailored to each family’s unique needs. This flexibility and willingness to try unconventional approaches often lead to breakthroughs that traditional methods might not achieve.

Using My Strengths to Hold Space

Empathy isn’t just about feeling deeply; it’s about using those feelings to create a meaningful connection. My autism equips me with tools to hold space for others in ways that feel grounding and healing. Here’s how I integrate these strengths into my work:

1. Active Listening

Because I process information differently, I’ve learned to be an active and intentional listener. I’m not just hearing the words my clients say; I’m tuning into the emotions and intentions behind them. This allows me to respond in ways that make people feel truly seen and heard.

2. Tailored Support

No two clients are the same, and my autistic mind thrives on recognizing patterns and creating individualized solutions. Whether it’s adjusting my approach to match someone’s communication style or finding creative ways to support their parenting journey, I strive to meet people where they are with care and intention.

3. Energy Regulation

As someone who is deeply sensitive to energy, I’ve developed practices to regulate both my own energy and the energy in the spaces I share with clients. Grounding exercises, breathwork, and visualization techniques help me stay present and balanced, ensuring that I can provide the calm, steady presence my clients need.

Empathy as a Superpower

My autism is not a limitation; it’s a superpower. It allows me to connect with people on a level that transcends words and expectations. By embracing my neurodivergence, I’ve found ways to turn my unique sensitivities into strengths, offering care that is deeply empathetic, intuitive, and transformative.

For those I work with, the feedback is often the same: they feel truly seen, understood, and supported. And for me, that’s the ultimate reward—knowing that my differences make a difference in the lives of others.

A Message to Others

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through my journey, it’s this: our unique perspectives, no matter how unconventional they may seem, hold incredible power. Whether you’re neurodivergent or neurotypical, leaning into your authentic self can unlock gifts you didn’t know you had. For me, autism is not just a part of who I am—it’s the reason I can do what I do with so much love, care, and impact. And for that, I am endlessly grateful.